Walking with Jesus

. I went to church this morning, but it wasn't easy. Olivia is not feeling well, but I really felt like I needed to go to worship. So, I decided to stay close to home in case Olivia needed me. I had my phone on vibrate. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I started early, prayed, and drove. How hard can it be to find a place to worship in a town that used to hold the world record for most churches per person in a city? If only I'd known! I drove down the block to the church on the corner. It's a small congregation i a big building, located near the University where we take Gracey for walks. They feel called to college students. It even has free meals for college students who attend on Sunday mornings. They don't have a pastor, but show sermons from a church network via recording. What it didn't have was any indication of what time there services were held, so I kept driving. I wondered if other's do the same. I came to another church, and while...

"Time heals all things," they say, but that isn't all it does. Time also makes us forget. Time is like a huge rope floating in a vast ocean. It floats completely below the surface, but far from the bottom (if there is one). The water is God, saturating, supporting, surrounding. He holds and infuses it all from beginning to end. Our lives, however, run like fibers along the strands of the rope Time, twisting and turning, moving around each other, sometimes strong, sometimes frayed, sometimes broken. As we move along our strand of the rope Time, we go through comfortable and hard times. We don't see the hard times coming, and we're quick to forget the hard times we cause others after they are gone. We may feel guilty for a while. We may feel like we should connect with them again and appologize, or at least confess to the whole or to the water the injury we have done to another on their journey. But, after a while that portion of our strand falls further behind ...

. Last night I dreamt there was a talent show or something in my old High School Auditorium. My friend Tim was up as a crowd slowly filled the room, and I along with some other guys we used to work with at Beltway were moving all over the stage picking up wires and cleaning up after Tim as he moved from instrument to instrument, others joining in as according to his changes. We were having fun with it, being silly. I was sitting on the floor behind the drums (not playing them) and I had just decided to pick up a mic and sing something when Tim (now on guitar) began singing this upbeat worship song. I think it originally had a bridge, but I don't remember it, because it took me a moment to realize that this song was completely new. I just sat there listening, all thoughts of performing vanquished from my mind, as worship broke forth. As I wrote down these words this morning and sang this "new song unto the Lord" I realized that they were about Olivia, about me, about lo...

. Belief is more about what you do than what you say. It is less about what you see in life, adn more about how you respond to what you see. Your actions give the best portrait of what you really value. When you look at the activity of your life, what does it tell you that you believe? I believe in the God of the Bible, the 66 inspired books contained in the Old and New Testaments. These Scriptures are the heart and foundation of God’s special revelation to the world, and are trustworthy and true. I believe God has revealed himself in the Bible primarily as Creator/Father, Savior/Son, and Counselor/Holy Spirit. I believe we were created in the image of God, that we have all fallen short of his design for our lives, and that God loves us in spite of our rebellion. The greatest evidence of his love for us is the atoning sacrifice of Jesus on the cross of Calvary, which is the only means of salvation given to humanity. I believe Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgi...

. At some point in the past I've read this book before. So, why did it all seem so new to me this time? Olivia and I (and Gracey) finished listening to the audio version of this title from Christian Audio last night. We listened to most of it on our drive to and from Albuquerque, but weren't quite done. It is perhaps the best Christian testimony I have heard resulting from the Holocaust. (If you live in Iran: Yes, the Holocaust was real.) If you've never read it, or even if it has a prominent place on your shelf, the days we find ourselves in are exactly the sort of days when we need to be reminded of: 1) the destructive power of the socialist/humanistic (Obama) world view, 2) the even greater power of the Gospel, 3) the call God has placed on all of His children to live a countercultural life, and 4) the reality of Jesus as Mighty Fortress, our Hiding Place. .

. I read John Eldridge's book Wild at Heart years ago, but the ideas have been fresh in my mind since last night. I've been wrestling. The question of a man's life, Eldridge says, is " Do I have what it takes?" He says every man's deepest fear is " to be exposed, to be found out, to be discovered as an impostor, and not really a man ." If my experience is any measure, then John is right. Upon the recommendation of some friends, Olivia and I watched Cinderella Man last night. It is the story of a depression era boxer and his comeback after a career-ending series of injuries. It is based upon a true story. Of course, as a boxing movie it is violent. I am sure I was supposed to come away from the experience encouraged, excited, and confident. I didn't. When the movie ended I went and sat outside, overcome with my own sense of inadequacy. " I don't have what it takes ." The thought is sickening. It literally depresses me. It c...

These past several days, we were afforded the opportunity to get out of town and spend some time with some friends in another part of the country. It was a special treat, a chance to rest and be loved on, and a wonderful glimpse into their lives. These friends truly love us more than I ever realized. God has given us a special place in their hearts, and we hid there for over a week. I am extremely thankful. Their love and graciousness toward us was a daily reminder that God has not turned his face away from us. Our suffering has been real (and still is), but we have not suffered without His presence. I am convinced that our Lord weeps with us each time we weep, that He holds us each time we need to be held, and that He never tires of our weakness or requires us to "just move on". He forgives our humanity. He understands our frailty. He loves our son,... Josiah. Josiah. "God Heals". Josiah, our fifth (at least) little God-worshipper. Josiah, who was prophesied fo...

. Passover is coming up soon, I still see my son's face every time I close my eyes, and I feel like fighting something. I won't trouble you with trying to figure out why we celebrate the holidays we do instead of the holidays in the Bible, or what ancient Israel was like, or even why it is important for Israel to exist today as a sign of God's faithfulness. What I will do is recommend Defiance , a hard movie based of hard realities. As I said, I'm not going to try to explain ancient Israel in this post, but if you'd like a glimmer of understanding regarding the modern State of Israel, then this movie might be helpful. Caution: This in not a family friendly film. But, it does tell a powerful story. .

. It's been two weeks since Josiah was born. Someone suggested that while we no longer feel Josiah in our arms, we will always feel him in our hearts. I like this idea. It's sweet, and the image is good. But, it isn't what I feel. What I feel is the hot-cold sting of acid forming a hole in my chest where my son's face should be. That sounds rather dramatic, but that's what I feel. However, what I know is much better than what I feel . What I know is that Josiah is with Jesus, along with his (at least) 4 brothers and sisters. What I know is that he is worshiping at the feet of the Father. What I know is that he knows who I am, and waits for me as only a loving son can. What I know is that God is good, and somehow, he is going to use this satanic attack on our family to reveal his love to us and advance his Kingdom. What I know is that satan hates us, because we believe in God. What I know is that I will continue to believe what I know over what I feel . ...

. The days keep rolling by. They just don't stop, do they? Josiah isn't coming back. I keep expecting to see him. I keep wanting to pray over him inside his mommy's belly. I half-forget when I'm asleep. I still see his face, his nose, his lips, his ribs, the soles of his feet, his hands... But, it's fading. I can't remember exactly what his back looked like, or the tops of his feet. I remember his fingernails, but not his toenails. I've begun the slow process of losing him. My pain reminds me I'm alive. Olivia's pain reminds me I am a husband, as well as a father. We're taking care of each other as best we can. God is holding us, but with our faces buried in his chest we can"t really see him. Our family and friends are helping so much. We have food in the fridge. Josiah's flowers are arranged on the piano, where he would have climbed and played. (Olivia watered them last night when she couldn't sleep.) Sympathy cards surround them...

. .

. Josiah Keith Brigham was born into the arms of Jesus on Friday, March 18, 2011 at 2:08pm. We will never forget him. It has been suggested that all you really have in life is a dash between two dates; how you fill in the dash is up to you. But, what do you say when there is no dash? What do you make of a life with only one date to mark it? In Jeremiah, the word of the LORD came to His prophet during the reign of Josiah, king of Judah, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” The Psalmist declares that God’s knowledge of man is perfect from the skillful forming of his inmost parts while he is still in his mother’s womb and that God’s thoughts for each of us outnumber the sands. In this context, he proclaims, “I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Josiah Keith Brigham was fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am proud to have him for my son. My biggest fear is th...

. Josiah Keith Brigham Josiah Keith Brigham, beloved son of Bryan Keith Brigham and Olivia Marta Brigham, was born and went to be with Jesus on March 18, 2011 at 2:08 PM. He is loved and missed greatly by grandparents Richard and Ellen Brigham, Gary and Diana Fambro, and Tamas and Klara Lility; uncles and aunts Kevin Brigham, David Brigham, and Robert and Cynthia Horacek; cousins Ilona, Isabella, and Korbin; great-grandmother Dorothea Goodwin; best-buddy Gracey; and many other family members and friends. Graveside service will be held Tuesday, March 22, 2011 at 2:08 PM at Elmwood Memorial Park in Abilene. .

Today I stretched a little when I woke up. You know, I touched my toes, pulled on my legs, twisted my body... I warmed up for the day. This is becoming more and more of a necessity as I mature. I used to be able to throw back flips without even thinking about it. Now, I don't even think about it. I'm doing a lot of warming up these days. I'm warming up for our son: painting his room, buying his clothes, searching for addresses for people we haven't seen in a while. I'm warming up for school, in case that still happens: studying Hebrew and Greek once in a while. I'm warming up for ministry: working with some guys who need the Lord, remembering my heart for specific needs, and trying to be a better husband. And, I guess I'm also warming up for Eternity: reading my Bible, keeping my heart focused on Him, praying, working with my hands. Jesus is coming back, and this life is just seed time. The harvest is near, and the reward is everlasting. Warming up for e...

. My wife is a photographer, as you may know, who specializes in pregnancy photos. So, you might imagine my hesitation at considering taking some pregnancy photos for her. However, Olivia is also a wonderfully loving woman and a great subject. We had a lot of fun taking these, and I hope they show you a bit of our joy in being pregnant.   . .

. It’s 2 AM. Last night I had a dream. It was a mystery dream, a crime being solved and a perpetrator caught. Some civilized animals were attempting in their humorously inadequate ways to catch a mysterious thief. They would devise some elaborate scheme, see it falling to ruin, and then the scene would freeze, and back up to 10 or 15 minutes earlier in the story, with the possibility of changing the events and the unsuccessful outcome. It was an amusing dream, and I watched as it moved progressively backwards from after midnight to early evening to the preceding dusk. I saw a mouse and a spider perched on a bookshelf/nook, ready to catch the thief, but he came at them from behind, from through a crack in the wall behind their perch. The scene froze and backed up. I saw a possum dropping an elaborate net onto the roof of a car, where it left a mark, showing that the trap would work. Yet, the culprit came at the bait another way and the possum fumbled with the branch and dropped it wron...

"...Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control..." I am an action-oriented guy. So, why haven't I realized that each of these words are not just descriptions of things you possess? They are things you DO! I guess I've always seen the list (whether you see the fruit of the Spirit as 9 different items, or as LOVE: followed by 8 specific characteristics of LOVE) as things given to describing followers of Jesus. Today, however, I saw more. I have patience , rather,  having patience is something I do. The same can be said for each of the final six: to doing patience , we add  doing kindness, doing good, doing faithful, doing gentle, doing self-control . Even doing love seems possible if you think of specific acts. But, can we do joy or do peace ? If I can show God's character (albeit in a glass dimly), by doing the other fruit, what of these two? What of Joy ? What of Peace ? I suppose then, in order to be cons...

. This was one of our videos last Sunday at Beltway . In our study on healing, it adresses the question: "What about when God doesn't heal?" .

. Each year we attend the Fur Ball, a dinner to raise funds for Rescue the Animals. People dress up according to a theme, bring their dogs (also dressed up), eat BBQ (I'd rather it were something else), and treat their pooch pals at the Gourmet Doggie Buffet. Olivia has a post about it on her blog. It's fun to see the people and their pets. However, I forgot them all for a moment. I had a moment of tunnel vision when I looked at Olivia once that night, and I wanted to share it with you. She was sitting in her chair, when the whole world faded (in my mind) and this is what I saw..... Ahoy! It's Olivia the Pirate!! Mistress of the Seas! Scourge of the Deep! Terror of the Briney Blue! Beware, lest she cut out yer gizzard!! , 

So, today we went to church, and that's why I'm writing this blog. We're members of a large congregation, and we want people to feel welcome. We don't care who they are, where they are from, or what brought them. We don't care what they did last night, or whether or not they even remember. HOWEVER, I {at least} DO CARE about what they wear. Now, don't hear me wrong. Keep reading. I don't care if they have holey jeans, torn shirts, and dirty shoes, or a suit and tie. I don't care if the colors clash, if they forgot their socks, or if they they wear biker slicks. It doesn't bother me if they wear primary colors, pastels, or all black. If they want to dress for golf, fishing, or hunting, that's fine. If they're dressed for work, that's great! And, I don't think Jesus cares if they have a popular logo or a clever saying emblazoned across their chest. However, I DO CARE if their clothes interfere with worship. Perhaps Jesus would f...