Josiah's Memorial Service
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Josiah Keith Brigham was born into the arms of Jesus on Friday, March 18, 2011 at 2:08pm. We will never forget him.
It has been suggested that all you really have in life is a dash between two dates; how you fill in the dash is up to you. But, what do you say when there is no dash? What do you make of a life with only one date to mark it?
In Jeremiah, the word of the LORD came to His prophet during the reign of Josiah, king of Judah, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
The Psalmist declares that God’s knowledge of man is perfect from the skillful forming of his inmost parts while he is still in his mother’s womb and that God’s thoughts for each of us outnumber the sands. In this context, he proclaims, “I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Josiah Keith Brigham was fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am proud to have him for my son. My biggest fear is that you will not be able to understand how much Olivia and I love him. He is a link with heaven for us, and even in death the enemy is defeated by his life. Satan still doesn’t win. God is still good, and He still loves us.
Life in Jesus is war, and I believe our adversary feared Josiah and the call upon his life. His name means “God Heals”, and nothing can keep that from happening. God will heal this wound in our hearts, and though it leaves a scar, that scar will be impenetrable to the slings and arrows of the enemy. We know in our spirit, and our heart will remember, that wherever God heals a wound he also seals it (it becomes holy), and death for God always brings about greater life in Jesus. Josiah will always be our son, and he is a reminder forever in our hearts of the goodness of God, who conquers death.
Last November, our church hosted a Healing Conference. Olivia attended more than I did because I had work. The first night she was there, God spoke to her and told us she was pregnant. We had not been trying to get pregnant and had no particular reason to believe we were, but we felt like God had really spoken. That night, Olivia took a pregnancy test, and we were indeed pregnant. It was a wonderful surprise, matched only our surprise many weeks later that we were having a boy.
We were fortunate enough to see Josiah every two weeks for most of our pregnancy, and he has quickly become an important member of our family. He will always be part of our family. He had a strong heart. He could open and close his hands. He could kick. (Just two weeks ago, I felt him give four strong kicks in a row.) He loved to have his arms up by his ears. He liked to cross his legs. He could swallow. He was always moving. He loved worship music. He knew about many of you, because we did our best to tell him about all of the family and friends he was going to meet when he was born. He knew our voices, and responded to each of us.
When we were in the hospital, I kept praying for a miracle. I wanted Josiah to live again. I cried out to God, “Be who only you can be! Do what only you can do! Help as only you can!” I believed. I didn’t know I could believe that way. I didn’t know such faith was in me. I never knew such strength in the midst of weakness, because even as God was saying “No” to my prayer for Josiah, He was being who only He is.
My confidence in Him is somehow stronger, even if that doesn’t make sense. Somehow, I trust Him more than ever.
When Olivia delivered Josiah last Friday, we got to spend several hours with him and we have lots of pictures of these precious moments… not that I need them yet. The image of his face is still burned into my eyes.
Josiah looks a lot like me. He doesn’t have a beard, of course, but I didn’t always have a beard either. He has my brow, Olivia’s eyes, my lips, and the famous Brigham smirk. He has Olivia’s chin, her family’s nose, and my family’s ears. His little muscles, especially his calves and biceps, were amazingly developed. He has long legs and arms, and was bound to be tall. His hands and feet are perfect. He already has fingernails, fine little hairs on his head, and blue eyes. We even felt the little buds in his mouth where his teeth would eventually form.
Translucent skin, miniature veins, functioning organs, tiny muscles, his own fingerprints… he is an amazing little person. I wish you all could see him as I see him in my memory. But, there is more to each of us than a body. Because he was created in the image of God, Josiah has a spirit and a soul. Those parts of him have not died. He is literally in the arms of Jesus, he is with the very person of joy, and his body will be raised again on the last day.
You will never know how much we love Josiah. Even if I believed I could tell you, I don’t think I would. It is too precious to me, and it would only break your heart. Olivia and I already know Josiah and we are so glad to have the chance to introduce him to you today. It means so much to us that you are here to help us mourn the shortness of his life. I am convinced you would have loved him, too.
Thank you for your flowers. Thank you for your cards. Thank you for your messages, texts, food, and gifts. Each one is a precious gift to us, a symbol of your love and compassion. We appreciate each and every token. But, in our hearts we don’t want any of these things. We want our son, and he is gone. So, we need you to help us grieve. We need you to help us cry. We need you to help us remember. We need you to help us wait until we see him again.
I am not the first man to bury his baby boy. I will not be the last. Long ago, a man named David fasted and wept before the LORD seven days in hope that God might be gracious to him and allow his son to live. When the child died, David washed and anointed himself, and went into the LORD’s house to worship. He proclaimed his confidence in God to his servants by saying, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”
I am claiming that sort of confidence for us, but it isn’t easy and I need examples like this from God’s Word. I need to know that I am not alone in my suffering. I am sure most believers who stand where Olivia and I stand now think about Job. Yet, that ancient sage said in the midst of his trials, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” Throughout our pregnancy, we have covered our home in Scripture. One is from the end of Job’s story, where he declares back to God the truth, “I know that you can do everything, and that no purpose of yours can be withheld from you.”
I don’t know what God’s purpose is in allowing the death of our son. The doctors all say it shouldn’t have happened, that the danger was past. There was no warning, no red flag. He was fine when we saw him on Monday. His heart was beating Wednesday morning. And then, he was gone. We will never know why. We will never understand. But, we will never stop missing him.
Every child and believing person we have lost is like Josiah, whether he has a dash between his dates or not. He is a bridge to heaven, a reminder that this life is only a breath, a moment when we determine whose side we are on. It is an opportunity to choose Jesus and be restored to God through Him.
Satan steals, kills, and destroys, so we will despair and deny God. God answers by joining us in our pain and mourning, wrapping his arms around us, weeping with us (as he did when Lazarus died), and giving us abundant life which can be found only in himself. Death, the enemy’s fiercest weapon, pales in the face of such glory. Death, after all, is only part of life, and it is not even the most important part. The most important thing is not how long you lived, but what was meant by your life; not what you did, but who you were.
Josiah is our son, and we love him. As Olivia said, “We held Josiah in our arms for a little while, but we will hold him in our heart forever.” For the moment, He is with Jesus, and we will see him again. For the moment, we are left to live and fight to answer the call God has placed on our lives: to bring God glory in the midst and in the memory of such a tragically fallen world.
Across the room from Josiah when he was born my Bible lay open on a table. I had been praying in the Psalms that morning. Sometime in the past I had highlighted a verse on that open page. Psalm 71:14: “But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”
Josiah Keith, we love you. We miss you. We are so proud of you. You shall not return to us, but we shall come to you.
.
Josiah Keith Brigham was born into the arms of Jesus on Friday, March 18, 2011 at 2:08pm. We will never forget him.
It has been suggested that all you really have in life is a dash between two dates; how you fill in the dash is up to you. But, what do you say when there is no dash? What do you make of a life with only one date to mark it?
In Jeremiah, the word of the LORD came to His prophet during the reign of Josiah, king of Judah, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
The Psalmist declares that God’s knowledge of man is perfect from the skillful forming of his inmost parts while he is still in his mother’s womb and that God’s thoughts for each of us outnumber the sands. In this context, he proclaims, “I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Josiah Keith Brigham was fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am proud to have him for my son. My biggest fear is that you will not be able to understand how much Olivia and I love him. He is a link with heaven for us, and even in death the enemy is defeated by his life. Satan still doesn’t win. God is still good, and He still loves us.
Life in Jesus is war, and I believe our adversary feared Josiah and the call upon his life. His name means “God Heals”, and nothing can keep that from happening. God will heal this wound in our hearts, and though it leaves a scar, that scar will be impenetrable to the slings and arrows of the enemy. We know in our spirit, and our heart will remember, that wherever God heals a wound he also seals it (it becomes holy), and death for God always brings about greater life in Jesus. Josiah will always be our son, and he is a reminder forever in our hearts of the goodness of God, who conquers death.
Last November, our church hosted a Healing Conference. Olivia attended more than I did because I had work. The first night she was there, God spoke to her and told us she was pregnant. We had not been trying to get pregnant and had no particular reason to believe we were, but we felt like God had really spoken. That night, Olivia took a pregnancy test, and we were indeed pregnant. It was a wonderful surprise, matched only our surprise many weeks later that we were having a boy.
We were fortunate enough to see Josiah every two weeks for most of our pregnancy, and he has quickly become an important member of our family. He will always be part of our family. He had a strong heart. He could open and close his hands. He could kick. (Just two weeks ago, I felt him give four strong kicks in a row.) He loved to have his arms up by his ears. He liked to cross his legs. He could swallow. He was always moving. He loved worship music. He knew about many of you, because we did our best to tell him about all of the family and friends he was going to meet when he was born. He knew our voices, and responded to each of us.
When we were in the hospital, I kept praying for a miracle. I wanted Josiah to live again. I cried out to God, “Be who only you can be! Do what only you can do! Help as only you can!” I believed. I didn’t know I could believe that way. I didn’t know such faith was in me. I never knew such strength in the midst of weakness, because even as God was saying “No” to my prayer for Josiah, He was being who only He is.
My confidence in Him is somehow stronger, even if that doesn’t make sense. Somehow, I trust Him more than ever.
When Olivia delivered Josiah last Friday, we got to spend several hours with him and we have lots of pictures of these precious moments… not that I need them yet. The image of his face is still burned into my eyes.
Josiah looks a lot like me. He doesn’t have a beard, of course, but I didn’t always have a beard either. He has my brow, Olivia’s eyes, my lips, and the famous Brigham smirk. He has Olivia’s chin, her family’s nose, and my family’s ears. His little muscles, especially his calves and biceps, were amazingly developed. He has long legs and arms, and was bound to be tall. His hands and feet are perfect. He already has fingernails, fine little hairs on his head, and blue eyes. We even felt the little buds in his mouth where his teeth would eventually form.
Translucent skin, miniature veins, functioning organs, tiny muscles, his own fingerprints… he is an amazing little person. I wish you all could see him as I see him in my memory. But, there is more to each of us than a body. Because he was created in the image of God, Josiah has a spirit and a soul. Those parts of him have not died. He is literally in the arms of Jesus, he is with the very person of joy, and his body will be raised again on the last day.
You will never know how much we love Josiah. Even if I believed I could tell you, I don’t think I would. It is too precious to me, and it would only break your heart. Olivia and I already know Josiah and we are so glad to have the chance to introduce him to you today. It means so much to us that you are here to help us mourn the shortness of his life. I am convinced you would have loved him, too.
Thank you for your flowers. Thank you for your cards. Thank you for your messages, texts, food, and gifts. Each one is a precious gift to us, a symbol of your love and compassion. We appreciate each and every token. But, in our hearts we don’t want any of these things. We want our son, and he is gone. So, we need you to help us grieve. We need you to help us cry. We need you to help us remember. We need you to help us wait until we see him again.
I am not the first man to bury his baby boy. I will not be the last. Long ago, a man named David fasted and wept before the LORD seven days in hope that God might be gracious to him and allow his son to live. When the child died, David washed and anointed himself, and went into the LORD’s house to worship. He proclaimed his confidence in God to his servants by saying, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”
I am claiming that sort of confidence for us, but it isn’t easy and I need examples like this from God’s Word. I need to know that I am not alone in my suffering. I am sure most believers who stand where Olivia and I stand now think about Job. Yet, that ancient sage said in the midst of his trials, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” Throughout our pregnancy, we have covered our home in Scripture. One is from the end of Job’s story, where he declares back to God the truth, “I know that you can do everything, and that no purpose of yours can be withheld from you.”
I don’t know what God’s purpose is in allowing the death of our son. The doctors all say it shouldn’t have happened, that the danger was past. There was no warning, no red flag. He was fine when we saw him on Monday. His heart was beating Wednesday morning. And then, he was gone. We will never know why. We will never understand. But, we will never stop missing him.
Every child and believing person we have lost is like Josiah, whether he has a dash between his dates or not. He is a bridge to heaven, a reminder that this life is only a breath, a moment when we determine whose side we are on. It is an opportunity to choose Jesus and be restored to God through Him.
Satan steals, kills, and destroys, so we will despair and deny God. God answers by joining us in our pain and mourning, wrapping his arms around us, weeping with us (as he did when Lazarus died), and giving us abundant life which can be found only in himself. Death, the enemy’s fiercest weapon, pales in the face of such glory. Death, after all, is only part of life, and it is not even the most important part. The most important thing is not how long you lived, but what was meant by your life; not what you did, but who you were.
Josiah is our son, and we love him. As Olivia said, “We held Josiah in our arms for a little while, but we will hold him in our heart forever.” For the moment, He is with Jesus, and we will see him again. For the moment, we are left to live and fight to answer the call God has placed on our lives: to bring God glory in the midst and in the memory of such a tragically fallen world.
Across the room from Josiah when he was born my Bible lay open on a table. I had been praying in the Psalms that morning. Sometime in the past I had highlighted a verse on that open page. Psalm 71:14: “But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”
Josiah Keith, we love you. We miss you. We are so proud of you. You shall not return to us, but we shall come to you.
.
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Love,
Mom