Walking with Jesus

 (photo of a glossy print, sorry) Micah's eye procedure went very well this morning. It was quick, easy, and should produce some great results. The doctor will return tomorrow to check on her progress, because it starts to work that quickly! We were able to be there with her, and our Ahava is recovering nicely. Surprisingly, this was actually Micah's first truly invasive procedure. She really is doing well overall. There are some many potential issues for micro-preemie's that she has been spared, because of God's grace and your prayers. (I know, she isn't a micro -preemie anymore. She is closer to 4 pounds now than to 3. Perhaps I'm in denial about how quickly she is growing up.)  (same photo, different lighting) I'll try to explain the picture a little bit: This is Micah's eye, or more precisely, a portion of the back of her eye. The image the camera takes is circular, giving the illusion that you are seeing the whole thing now matter

Micah will be getting injections for her retinal development tomorrow at about 9 AM. This is sort of like a "reset" button for her eye development, and should allow the arteries and veins in her eye to return to their normal developmental track (interupted and forced into clumps by the early extra Oxygen her body needs out of the womb), thus preserving the sight she has (newborns only have centralized sight) and allowing her distance and peripheral vision to develop. This procedure is fairly normal for preemies, and helps prevent severe nearsightedness. Just a few years ago, the only way to save her current site was to destroy the potential for continued growth and development. Please pray for this bed-side surgery as you continue to pray for her to do well on the Bubble CPAP (see previous post).

Her face keeps drawing my eyes up from the keyboard. She is breathing, really breathing, without a tube down her throat for the first time. 9 weeks and 4 days later. She shouldn't even be here yet. Then again, she really should. She wiggles. She squirms. She sleeps. She sleeps a lot. It's one of the best things she can do right now. She is so amazing. She has no idea. It's hard to imagine how someone so small could have been so much smaller. It's hard to imagine how someone so alive almost wasn't alive at all. It's hard to imagine how someone so suddenly important to our world can barely recognize that there is a world at all beyond herself. I haven't even tried to post in days. There have been too many changes; too much going on in Ahava-land: vent settings, vent changes, amazing growth and weight gain, increases in portions of Mama's milk.... Olivia has posted a couple of blogs, so please read those. She posted the first on Wednesday and the secon

I've made a lot of poor choices in my life. I've been selfish when I should have been giving. I've been angry would I should have been content. I've been jealous when I should have been rejoicing for someone else's good fortune. I've lied to, used, and neglected people in my past, when I should have treasured and valued them. I've fought when I should have reconciled. I've exploited when I should have protected. Again and again, I've chosen myself over others and my way over God's way. Most of my biggest regrets in this regard are further in the past, when I was younger and still figuring out what it meant to become a man. I still make mistakes, and I've made some big ones, even since Olivia and I got married (5 years, 10 months, and almost 22 days ago). But, for some reason it's those bad choices from my formative years that are keeping me up tonight: High School, College Undergrad, even Junior High. They keep playing over and over in

Micah continued to make some progress last night. All of her levels have improved some, but still aren't where we would like to see them. Hopefully, we will get there either later today or tomorrow, and then she can get back to work growing into the wonderful child of God I know she will become. Thank you for your continue prayers. This was a discouraging several days, and I've been challenged to claim the truths I know in the midst of it. Here are seven: 1) Jesus loves our family. 2) God is in control. 3) Micah is God's miracle. 4) Micah will thrive. (Remember, God told us early on that this would seem like the hardest thing we ever did, but that He would not fail to reward those who fear Him.) 5) God will restore ALL the enemy has stolen. (Promised in 2004) 6) By God's grace and the Spirit's power, we can do this. (All things are possible with God.) 7) I will not become lost. (This traumatic series of events will not make me forget who I am in Chri

There really is no way for me to properly thank all of you who have been praying for Micah over the past 24 hours. I've literally lost track of the text messages and prayers. So, while it is hardly adequate: THANK YOU!! Micah began to improve a little last night right before we left, and only lost a little of that ground overnight. Her blood gas (CO2 and Ph) is now slightly better, which indicates that we may be dealing with an infection (as we had hoped) rather than a broader, more critical failure in her lungs. She has also been able to go down a few points on her O2. They even backed off on her ventilator pressure, which should help her be more comfortable. These improvements are slight, but they are improvements, and we are very thankful for them. The next couple of days are still going to be trying, and all three of us need your continued prayer support. There is no way we can do this without Jesus.  I really do not understand how non-Christians survive! We have not been

Micah is not having a good day. Actually, the last 48 hours have been pretty bad. She seems to be trending the wrong way right now, and we can't be sure why. She may have an infection, so they are treating that.  Her O2 support is the second highest it has ever been, and her CO2 has been creeping up as well. She already had a blood transfusion, but her lungs simply aren't exchanging the air the way they need to. Additionally (though far from her biggest problem), she just had her first eye exam and will need another exam early next week to determine for certain if she is having retinal blood flow issues (it appears she is) and needs treatment. We are concerned, but hopeful. We don't really have any other choice. We thought we were past the life and death stuff, but right now things could go either way. They expect good results, but they aren't the only possible outcome.It all depends on how she does over the next 4 to 5 days. Additionally, she had a really bad nurs

Micah is now officially 3 pounds! I can't believe it. Really, I can't. I also can't believe she is over 8 weeks old! She is doing pretty well, but our days are not without incident. Today is an example: Micah had a rough night, needing more and more support. Her CO2 levels in her blood had been creeping up. She looked pale (low red blood cell count). Her oxygen needs were increasing. And, she was tired from fighting a recent infection from an old IV site. Her caretakers also discovered that her breathing tube wasn't able to keep her lungs open as much as she needed, and it needed to be adjusted by about 5 cm. So, an x-ray was taken and her tube was adjusted, a blood infusion was given, lassix was administered again (repeating yesterday) to combat edema (water-based swelling) by making her pee, and pressure was added to help re-expand her lungs. Now we wait, probably for most of the day, to see how she improves. This is the roller coaster. Early results seem good:

Please visit Olivia's site for an update she wrote on Sunday. It really provides a glimpse into her heart. Thank you for your continued prayers for our family.

Here are some recent photos. I played with the idea of having a competition to see which of the first two photos of Micah was the cutest, the one with Mama or the one with me. So, if you'd like to express an opinion, please do. I can't decide. BTW Micah is now 2 pounds, 13 ounces!!!  Micah and Papa Micah and Mama 

This week we had a Care Meeting for Micah. We met with Micah's primary doctors and nurse, a nurse practitioner, social workers, a respiratory therapist, the nurse manager, and some others who have regular interaction with Micah or ourselves. It was a very good meeting and we have a good idea what to expect for the next couple of months. Micah's progress from here will be slow (and hopefully steady). It will be measured week to week, rather than day to day. Her biggest issues are her lung development and weening her off of steroids. All mirco-preemie's have lung issues, but the difficulty getting off of the steroids is less common. Progress in this area will be measured over months. Trying to reduce them at closer to the normal pace has been the cause of Micah's worst days thus far. She has moved beyond the danger of several frequent issues for micro-preemies, and unless something particularly hard and unexpected happens, Micah survival is no longer an issue. The big

Micah needs stability. Because of the way doctors rotate back and forth between Cooks and Harris hospitals, Micah has a new primary neonatologist. Today we had our first long conversation with her and it went well. There are some of the doctors that want Micah to do well, but think and communicate differently than the primary she had before. This doctor works pretty much the same as Micah's last (who rotated out last week) and will be in consultation with him. We are going to have a Care Conference on Wednesday afternoon with her and a couple of Micah's regular nurses to make sure everyone is on the same page for Micah's short-term and long-term goals and treatment plan. Please pray for this meeting because it is a great chance to make sure we know what is going on with Micah's care and find answers to whatever questions we think of between now and then. After a rough end to last week, Micah's levels are still high, but staying pretty much where they are. We are

  Yesterday was another harder day for Micah. We have been really blessed that her only real issue presenting itself right now is her lungs. However, this is a big issue. The thing Micah Ahava needs most right now is still growth. Everything about her treatment has been about helping her grow as quickly as possible; about rest and nourishment.  One thing they tried this week was lowering her steroid suppliment. You see, we all have a natural amount of steroid our body uses to control inflamation (like in your lungs) and do other necessary tasks. With micro-preemie's like Micah, this is one of the things their body hasn't learned to produce enough of, so suppliments are used. Yet, steroids also inhibit growth. Thus, the thinking is that Micah has been growing pretty well with the steroids, but will grow even better with fewer. Unfortunately, Micah did not respond well to the steroid reduction. It was difficult to tell at first, but she quickly reached her threshold.

Micah is having a better day today. Thank you for your prayers. Olivia even got to kangaroo. We did have one adverture when one of Micah's ventilators stopped working several times while Olivia was holding her. We were a little concerned, and the nurses and technicians jumped right into action, but Micah was not bothered at all! All her levels just kept right on going where they needed to be. What a champ! Micah is also trying to start breathing more on her. She is also growing every day. Meanwhile, we have begun house preparations for September/October. I would love to share more of our "better day" but I am typing this update on Olivia's phone at Micah's bedside and I don't think her phone likes me very much. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Cute this direction... ...and cute this direction! Micah is ok, but last night was rough.  I remember the first time I was brave enough to ride the Shock Wave at Six Flags Over Texas. I wasn't much taller than the finger on the sign announcing only people of a certain stature (42") were permitted to ride that particular roller coaster. It was the first looping roller coaster I'd ever ride. (The first of many.) They'd strap you into this chain of carts, haul you 12 stories into the air, and let you slide into a gentle turn to the right. Then, before you are quite ready for it, you feel a pull forward as the first car slides down the ramp. Suddenly you're racing at 55 miles per hour straight down, and just when you catch your breath and realize you are screaming at the top of your lungs you're into the first loop and your stomach squashes down into your toes. Then, your head inexplicably fills with blood and for a brief moment you wonder, "Wha

Micah is now over 6 weeks old. I can hardly believe it. Life before her seems so far away from our current reality. She has had a string of good days, but may be coming into a harder period. As she grows, her breathing tube becomes less effective (because it stays the same size), her nerves become more sensitive to discomfort, and she becomes more restless. The past couple of days, she has been particularly active and alert, which is great for us, but may not be so great for her resting and growing. Her doctor is telling us that she is almost to the point of needing a larger breathing tube and closer than ever to trying the next level of breathing system, which is does not require being intubated. He also says that she has lasted on this first tube longer than they expected her to. Normally, babies find a way to remove the tube themselves (or coughed it out) by the time they reach Micah's age. But, while she likes to hold onto it, Micah has not tried to do this yet. (Olivia re

 DAD, tape and tubes are what ALL the micropremies are wearing! Thank you all for your suggestions. You definitely brought a smile to our faces and some stress relief to our lives. More importantly, thank you for your your support and your continued prayers.