Walking with Jesus

I remember standing in the hospital when the doctor told us that because Micah was so early he was required by law to ask us whether we wanted to save her or not. I couldn't believe it. What sort of question is that? "Did we want them to try to save our daughter?" But, that is where we are as a nation. These are evil days. Today, as I look at Micah (this little image of God; this little combination of Olivia and Bryan), I can hardly believe that moment happened. "Did we want them to try to save our daughter?!" Of course, the answer was never in doubt for us. God is her maker, who are we to decide not to give our child the chance to live? YES, we wanted them to save her! We loved Micah already. We were already her parents. Olivia was willing to die for her to have the best chance for life! I would have as well. And, like I said, God is her maker, not me. So, YES! Without hesitation, YES! YES! YES! We chose life for Micah, and she is a living miracle because o...

We've had several "firsts" this week: first "rooming in," first time alone with Micah for both of us, first days with no tube feeding, first MRI (her doctor was amazed at how good Micah's brain looks), first weight of over 7 pounds (7 lbs, 1.1 oz.!), first trip outside the NICU (for the MRI), first meeting with Bea (the PEDIATRIC Nurse Practitioner in charge of pending dismissals)... We've also had several "lasts": last tube feeding (obviously), last eye appointment while we are here (everything looks good), last time with one of our favorite nurses, last day of decorations on the wall (because of a pending inspection), last trip to Abilene before we go home... We also had an almost first. We almost had our first vaccine, but felt a warning the Lord telling us not to do it. Vaccines are tricky. They are often referred to as "immunizations", but this is inaccurate because they do not guarantee any immunity (You have to search to ...

Today, Olivia got to hold Micah for over two hours. It was so natural, so real and beautiful. As I watched her embrace Micah for only the 3rd time (on this her 1 month anniversary), I was reminded of how fortunate I am to be able to spend this time here. Sure, Olivia has told me again and again that she wouldn't physically be able to do this without me, and I know it's true. But, a lot of people aren't so fortunate, and few understand. We believe that God has called us to walk this road with Micah Ahava together, and God is proving faithful as we answer His calling. I could make a list of reasons for this choice, but the first and foremost is: "Jesus said to stay." The phrase that came to mind as I sat there praising God and watching my wife and daughter today (ok, and taking some pictures as well) there was "pundits and prayer warriors." We have support. We are being encouraged. We are being fought for. I know that, but I wasn't sure what the phra...

Life is lived moment by moment, by moment; Don't miss yours. Yesterday and Tomorrow are about potential: one lacking and the other unending, but it is Today that matters. Today is as close to eternity as we will ever be as long as we live. Today is when we interact with life. Today is where God speaks to us. And, while all of our days are Today from God's eternal perspective, only the moment we have right now meets Eternity from ours. What are we doing? What are we thinking about? Why are we where we are, when we are, today ? Hebrews (chapter 3 and 4) talks about Today , as an opportunity, a moment to decide. Will we hear God's voice, no matter what other noise is going on? Will we enter His rest, no matter how easy it would be to harden our hearts? Will we know God's ways, even when our hearts want to stray? Will we "exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin"  (3:13) ? ...

. I am beginning a new chapter in life in two weeks: I am going back to school. Ok, so I guess I've already begun. (There is a lot of reading and writing to do before I get there.)   I am starting at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary in the Master of Theology program, an advanced degree with a 90-hour-Masters as its pre-requisite! The goal is to matriculate to the PhD program next year, so I am taking a couple of doctoral level classes and trying to remember my Hebrew. I will be travelling to California for classes each month until I find a job on the West Coast. Olivia and I are excited (and nervous) about the change, but we need to make it. She will be going with me this trip, because we have an interview with a church on the Sunday before classes start. Once I do find employment, we will be finishing our home improvements here, selling our house, and hauling ourselves across the West. So, why would we do this, you ask? Well, because we believe God has spoken to us,...

. It’s 2 AM. Last night I had a dream. It was a mystery dream, a crime being solved and a perpetrator caught. Some civilized animals were attempting in their humorously inadequate ways to catch a mysterious thief. They would devise some elaborate scheme, see it falling to ruin, and then the scene would freeze, and back up to 10 or 15 minutes earlier in the story, with the possibility of changing the events and the unsuccessful outcome. It was an amusing dream, and I watched as it moved progressively backwards from after midnight to early evening to the preceding dusk. I saw a mouse and a spider perched on a bookshelf/nook, ready to catch the thief, but he came at them from behind, from through a crack in the wall behind their perch. The scene froze and backed up. I saw a possum dropping an elaborate net onto the roof of a car, where it left a mark, showing that the trap would work. Yet, the culprit came at the bait another way and the possum fumbled with the branch and dropped it wron...

"...Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control..." I am an action-oriented guy. So, why haven't I realized that each of these words are not just descriptions of things you possess? They are things you DO! I guess I've always seen the list (whether you see the fruit of the Spirit as 9 different items, or as LOVE: followed by 8 specific characteristics of LOVE) as things given to describing followers of Jesus. Today, however, I saw more. I have patience , rather,  having patience is something I do. The same can be said for each of the final six: to doing patience , we add  doing kindness, doing good, doing faithful, doing gentle, doing self-control . Even doing love seems possible if you think of specific acts. But, can we do joy or do peace ? If I can show God's character (albeit in a glass dimly), by doing the other fruit, what of these two? What of Joy ? What of Peace ? I suppose then, in order to be cons...

. In a world of voices and opportunities, it can hard to discern the source of many of the ideas floating through our heads. Is this plan from my flesh? Is this nudging from the Holy Spirit? Is this desire from the enemy?! The possibilities can be paralyzing. How do I determine who wants me to step out? . Q: How do we know when it's God asking us to do something? A: It’s impossible! God does not call us to do things we can accomplish in our own strength. What would the point of that be, anyway? We already know what we should and shouldn’t do through His Word and our conscience. Rather, God calls us to do what we cannot do. He calls us to shout down walls. He calls us to defy kings. He calls us to walk on water, to feed the hungry, and to speak in languages we don’t know. He calls us to heal the sick with a word. He calls us to raise the dead. He calls us to tithe, to pray, and to love each other. . God calls us to work in the world as a witness to the world, and yet no...

. For some reason as I was showering off throw-up in the shower (after the Foster Daughter we have for the weekend got sick in my arms tonight) I had a revelation: We have a shallow image of Jesus. Now, perhaps this isn't a revelation to you, but it struck me. We tend to read the dialogues of Jesus in Scripture like they’re the script for the 35th annual Easter Pageant at your local community church… They’re stilted, simple, slow, and designed to be understood by an audience of 200 or 2000 people ranging in age from 7 to 70 who may or may not have a relationship with God. Actor One stands partially facing the audience and talks over his shoulder to Actor Two. He enunciates clearly and projects his voice. He speaks slowly and emphasizes all the important words. Actor Two allows Actor One to finish his line and then takes a step (toward the audience not toward Actor One) and delivers his line. And so it goes, on and on, ad nausea. No passion, unless it’s necessary to the charac...

I haven't written much about my marathon experience, so I wanted to share a few moments with you. I changed corals (start groups) twice trying to get in with a pace group, so I wouldn't run too quickly or too sowly, but when I got to the race there was no pace group in the coral I was in. So, I had to guess at my pace. It ended up being a little fast, which hurt me in the end. The first half of the race felt really good. There were portions here in particular where crowds lined the streets with signs and anxious searching looks and they watched for their family member, friend or loved one to run by. It would have been easy to miss someone, but person after person was found along the way. At mile two I saw Olivia, standing in front of the Alamo. Periodically, there were tables lining both sides of the road filled with cups of water and cytomax (a frankly nasty sports drink) with volunteers handing out cups, talking to each other, and cheering us on like they actually knew wh...

There are some things that lie just beyond common knowledge. For example, have you ever thought about the fact that Jesus never ate bacon, a pizza, a hamburger, or probably even an apple? (These things were unknown in 1st century Israel.) Have you ever considered how Methusellah was a vegitarian who died the year God flooded the earth? (No one even considered eating meat until after that Great Flood.) And, did you know that all music can be described by 12 notes in 15 combinations? (By the way, the supporting structures of sub-atomic particles are musical patterns.) So much waits for us to discover if we can only follow the clues and put the peices together. God made this life a great adventure of learning and discovery, with each new lesson a chance to learn about who He is as the creator of all. Such learning is the key to truly gaining insight into the world around us. Let's follow the reality that Jesus was a Jew. What does this imply about his life? He kept the Law. He hon...

Here's a thought: The Apostle Peter considered both his own writing (2 Peter 1:15,19) and Paul's writing (2 Peter 3:16) to be Scripture. Do you have that sort of confidence the things you say are pleasing to the Lord?