Walking with Jesus

 An Amazing Gift From An Amazing God So, I couldn't resist the title, but I'm a little excited about it. Countless people were praying for it. Micah needed it before she could increase her food. We needed it for peace of mind. The doctors and nurses needed it in order to avoid a more serious intervention. And you needed it so I could write that clever blog title. Yup! "Poop Happens!" And (according to the nurse) it happened in a big way. Every time she wiped our little girl off, she'd poop another little drop, just as if to prove a point. So, thank you for praying for something so small, yet so significant. We missed the big event, but Olivia got a picture of a subsequent contribution. I thought of posting that photo here, but I don't want to become the embarrassing dad too quickly. Maybe we'll save it for her high school graduation, for when the boy comes over to pick her up for her first date (when she is 30!), or for her wedding montage. We...

A gift from one of our nurses for our little girl! We have been so blessed by the doctors and nurses at the hospital. Apparently this providence is not unusual here. It takes a special heart to do this work year after year. Not every story goes as well as Micah's has so far. Not every baby does so well, or even survives. Being here is a big deal. Being here is literally a matter of life and death for Micah. She makes it through each day by the grace of God and the diligence of the Harris staff. AMAZING!! Today, they had a second chance to insert a port so that the doctors and nurses could have better access to Micah Ahava's blood for her regular testing without having to poke her over and over or replace IV's every other day. (The evidence of the first attempt is seen on her wrist above; the bruise actually looks better than I had expected.) The success of this procedure matters so much, because her umbilical cord access is about to end as her little bel...

Micah is already a week old! I can't even believe it. Olivia and I both got to touch her again today. My hands felt larger and clumsier than they probably ever have before in my life. The last 48 hours have been long and very busy. We are still getting used to life outside the hospital and Micah is still getting used to live outside of the womb. We are all adjusting, and all of us have good and bad days already. Safe in Mama's Hands Yesterday was a good day for Micah, but it was very difficult for us. It started early, with the disorientation of waking up without the hospital noises. In fact, we were so exhausted that we didn't even hear the alarm go off for the first midnight pumping. My poor Olivia was extremely sore after 7 hours without pumping for Micah. I felt so bad for her. My own weariness is starting to show: I kept misplacing things (especially my phone). Micah fared better than we did. She finished her cardio treatment to help her bo...

Olivia was released from the hospital last night and it was as hard a thing as you can imagine to leave Micah Ahava there. Thus begins our adventure of visitation, peer support, and less immediate access to our daughter. Since my alarm didn't go off this morning when I wanted it to (or I slept through it?), this is already the longest I have gone without seeing her since her birth (14 hours!). The good news is that it has been a positive 24 hours for Micah. Her counts are doing well, and we were allowed to take our first family photo together. She has dark hair and her skin is less translucent. It is hard to imagine how someone could already have grown so much and still be so small. But the big news: She opened her eyes! The biggest prayer concern (besides poop) is with her blood flow. At 24 weeks, 4 days gestational age today (almost 6 days old!), Micah's circulatory system isn't ready-made for life outside the womb. She is still adjusting, and has a common conditi...

Micah is now 4 1/2 days old. I can't believe it has already been that long. Sometimes it feels like I am still watching them wheel Olivia away for surgery, seeing her make them stop so I can give her a final hug, and then standing (not in fear, not in anxiety, not in regret for things unsaid) full of love and pride. Love almost overwhelming for my bride of 5 years, 8 months, and 20+ days. A taste of the love I know God has for her. Pride to be married to such a woman. One who for the previous few days (and our whole pregnancy) literally laid down her life for our child to have the best chance. I never thought Micah would die (by God's gift of peace) but I didn't know about Olivia. I don't think she would have hesitated to give her last breathe for our daughter, even in the pain of missing her life. Monday: Micah and Olivia are both alive. Tuesday: Micah is exceeding expectations and showing no big surprises. Big hurdles to overcome developmentally, but nothing unexp...

Last week, we were half-way through a high-risk pregnancy. Today, I became a father. Wednesday morning: Olivia called me from home while I was at work. She was nauseous and couldn't stop throwing up. I met her at home and we headed to labor and delivery. We were just 23 weeks pregnant. Micah Ahava Elise is just 9 days older than Josiah was when we lost him. Thursday: I went to work while my mom stayed with Olivia in the hospital. We thought we might be going home afterwards, but her labs showed some irregularities and her blood pressure was high. No more work. Thursday night: 6 hours of major back-spasms for poor Olivia. No other indications of labor, but she eventualy slept more from exhaustion than from from the stack of drugs they gave her. Friday morning: Going home? No. Some consultation about Olivia's suddenly droping platelet levels and high blood pressure. Olivia is flown to Fort Worth, and I pack up as much of our world as I can fit into the car and fo...

Where I work, there is always a TV on. If it weren't, I wouldn't watch it. I am daily thankful that we don't have it at home. Most of the time, the noise coming from that socially-engineered direction is completely foolish and often meaningless. Various false 'goddesses of culture' with their collectivistic talk shows harp about their opinions as if their opinions were the only ones that mattered. Meaningless and fanatical game shows and adulterous soap operas usually follow. Other noise describes renovations of such critical locations as the back porch that cost more than the average American makes in 10 years or feature a 3 million dollar, diamond encrusted vent-hood for the stove (coming to your local superstore soon!). Even the news isn't worth listening to, with its focus on our limited options as we consider our vote for the next President. The powers that be have determined that for the first time in our nation's history that I am aware of neither of ...

I once wrote a song about you without telling you. I even prentended to mess up playing it when you walked into the coffee shop, so you'd hear the whole thing. On this day, Mother's Day, I want you to know, Olivia: YOU ARE STILL FABULOUS!!!