OURS, not His and Hers
A few days ago, my wonderful bride, Olivia, “hijacked” my blog, and wrote the sweetest, most honoring blog entry about me. It blessed me so much! I can’t even begin to say thank you for the things she wrote, but it meant the world to me for her to do that.
I’ve never had another person love me the way Olivia loves me. We’re not perfect, and we’re definitely still learning, but I’m blown away to have been given her as my wife, best friend, lover, and support. God is truly faithful!
It occurred to me this morning that there was a time in my life when I would have been really bothered by the fact that Olivia “broke in” to my blog account and used it. In fact, I might have been so bothered by it that I missed the blessing she gave me by doing it. But, I suppose it is evidence of God’s great work in me that I wasn’t bothered at all. Not a bit! In fact, it’s taken several days to even realize that I might have been bothered by it in the past. I simply don’t think that way anymore.
(Please don’t hear me bragging. This isn’t something I did, or even really tried to do. It’s absolutely God’s credit to have. I’m just blown away by it.)
I guess I always thought that when I got married there would be 3 types of possessions in my marriage: MY stuff, HER stuff, and then OUR stuff. I’d have MY car. She’d have HER car. But it would be OUR money for gas and repairs. I’d have MY razor. She’d have HER razor. But, it would be OUR shower. I’d have MY friends. She’d have HER friends. And we’d have OUR friends.
However, this isn’t really how it’s worked out. We still use MY and YOUR, but they are less about possession and more about differentiation or description. When I say MY toothbrush, it doesn’t mean “the toothbrush we bought for me to use, and if you use it I’m throwing it away and buying a new one because that’s really gross” as it did when we got married. When I say MY toothbrush today, it means “the toothbrush with the blue stripe rather than the one with the purple stripe.” In the same way, it’s MY side of the bed meaning “the left rather than the right”, HER camera meaning “the one she uses for her work rather than the one sitting in the bottom of the baby’s closet”, MY keys meaning “the ones with the cross key chain rather than the one with the alarm fob on them”, and HER guitar photo meaning “the one Olivia took, had printed, and framed rather than the ones she selected that one from.”
We’ve moved quite naturally into OUR life together over the past 2 years, 11 days, and 18 hours. I recall as we drove away from the courthouse on September 1, 2006 how I laughed a little as we got under way. Olivia asked what had made me chuckle, and I pointed to all of OUR stuff in the back seat. (It was quite a pile!) “I’ve never had so many accoutrements!” I said. Little did I know how true that statement was. I came into our marriage with all the baggage of a MINE/HERS mentality and didn’t even realize it. Happily, Jesus has moved me to a healthier place in OUR marriage. I’m so excited to see what He does next!
I’ve never had another person love me the way Olivia loves me. We’re not perfect, and we’re definitely still learning, but I’m blown away to have been given her as my wife, best friend, lover, and support. God is truly faithful!
It occurred to me this morning that there was a time in my life when I would have been really bothered by the fact that Olivia “broke in” to my blog account and used it. In fact, I might have been so bothered by it that I missed the blessing she gave me by doing it. But, I suppose it is evidence of God’s great work in me that I wasn’t bothered at all. Not a bit! In fact, it’s taken several days to even realize that I might have been bothered by it in the past. I simply don’t think that way anymore.
(Please don’t hear me bragging. This isn’t something I did, or even really tried to do. It’s absolutely God’s credit to have. I’m just blown away by it.)
I guess I always thought that when I got married there would be 3 types of possessions in my marriage: MY stuff, HER stuff, and then OUR stuff. I’d have MY car. She’d have HER car. But it would be OUR money for gas and repairs. I’d have MY razor. She’d have HER razor. But, it would be OUR shower. I’d have MY friends. She’d have HER friends. And we’d have OUR friends.
However, this isn’t really how it’s worked out. We still use MY and YOUR, but they are less about possession and more about differentiation or description. When I say MY toothbrush, it doesn’t mean “the toothbrush we bought for me to use, and if you use it I’m throwing it away and buying a new one because that’s really gross” as it did when we got married. When I say MY toothbrush today, it means “the toothbrush with the blue stripe rather than the one with the purple stripe.” In the same way, it’s MY side of the bed meaning “the left rather than the right”, HER camera meaning “the one she uses for her work rather than the one sitting in the bottom of the baby’s closet”, MY keys meaning “the ones with the cross key chain rather than the one with the alarm fob on them”, and HER guitar photo meaning “the one Olivia took, had printed, and framed rather than the ones she selected that one from.”
We’ve moved quite naturally into OUR life together over the past 2 years, 11 days, and 18 hours. I recall as we drove away from the courthouse on September 1, 2006 how I laughed a little as we got under way. Olivia asked what had made me chuckle, and I pointed to all of OUR stuff in the back seat. (It was quite a pile!) “I’ve never had so many accoutrements!” I said. Little did I know how true that statement was. I came into our marriage with all the baggage of a MINE/HERS mentality and didn’t even realize it. Happily, Jesus has moved me to a healthier place in OUR marriage. I’m so excited to see what He does next!
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