A note on my last Halloween post...
Sometimes I do things with the best of intentions, and find myself in sin. Often, this is because I get excited and don't stop to think and pray before I do them. What do I do when this happens? How do I respond? Do I defend myself? Do I make excuses? Do I hide behind my great intentions? Or, do I recognize the injury I have caused and do what I can to repair it? I hope I do the later.
I wrote a blog about Halloween a little while ago. In it, I offered an argument for why Christians should not participate in this holiday, even as an opportunity for evangelism. I feel very strongly about this issue. This practice among our churches is a burden that brings me great sadness, and I believe the church's response to the spiritual realities associated with this particular day of the year are critical to who we are as a body.
However, it is not enough for me to speak the truth (or at least my understanding of it). I must remind myself that "if I do not have love, I am nothing." I should speak the truth in love. I should speak it in grace. I should speak it in humility. The post I wrote was not loving. It was not full of grace. It was not humble. After being lovingly confronted by a friend who read that blog, I realize that I've hurt at least one family (and probably others) because of my aggressiveness. These people are our friends, and we love them in the Lord. I am truly sorry, and I am writing this blog in case there are others in the body I have hurt as well. I believe my attitude and approach were wrong.
When I feel strongly about an issue, it is far too easy for me to forget that this blog is not simply a journal of my private thoughts and reflections. It is an avenue for communicating with others, and it is an imperfect avenue at best. Where I intend to show concern, I can sound angry. Where I want to call for reconsideration, I can sound judgmental. Where I want to show how my heart hurts, I can (and do) hurt the hearts of others. I need to be more careful of the hearts and spirits of my readers. My hope is to persuade Christians, not attack them.
Of course, sometimes I actually am angry or judgmental and I shouldn't be. But, sometimes (as in this case) I just don't take the time to think about what I am saying and whether or not I should say it. I don't stop to pray before I press "Publish." After visiting with my friend, I reread my post and realized that I could have stopped about half-way through (before I started using examples or talking about a particular family or church). In our family, the prayerful response to Halloween is to abstain from it, and we believe we have spiritual, moral, and biblical support for this decision. The believers (and the church) I shouldn't have mentioned have also prayed about their response to Halloween and (from a biblically mandated heart to love their community) have decided to try to redeem that day. I believe they did not come to that conclusion easily or without serious consideration. I respect that.
Now, if the issue were truly critical to our relationship, then the proper thing to do would have been to sit down with the family or the leaders of the church and talk about the issue. If it is, in fact, a stumbling block to our fellowship together, then the issue should first be discussed in private fellowship and love [Matthew 18:15-16], not in a public forum. (If it weren't a truly critical issue, then my best course would have been to never mention it at all.)
Halloween is an important issue for our family, and one I feel like we need resolution to before we can commit to any body of believers (a thing we deeply want to be able to do). However, I have no right to bypass the discomfort of a private discussion and begin a conversation by publicly call for a change in another's behavior. That was a bad choice on my part.
Even Martin Luther tried to resolve his conflict with Rome privately before posting his famous 95 Theses to the door of Wittenberg Catholic Church (a normal way in those days of making a debate public). In fact, theses themselves are rather apologetic if you read them. He wanted to bring change with unity, not bring hurt and disunity and tried to follow Jesus' instructions for bringing about that change. In my haste, and in my passion, I never even considered whether or not I was approaching the issue biblically. I was wrong to be so thoughtless and hurtful. Therefore, I offer my sincerest apologies (Truly I do).
I meant well, but that is precisely the issue. Meaning well is not enough. I hoped to encourage a reconsideration of the church's involvement with Halloween. Yet, to intend good, but fail to do good, is still a failure to do good. My intentions do not matter very much if I sin in them.
At this point, I am in danger of defending myself, and I most certainly DO NOT want this post to be about that! Obviously, I believe our family has made the right choice about Halloween. Obviously, I share our choice every year because I want others to pray and come to the same conclusion about their involvement in Halloween. But, I should not assume an attitude that communicates that others have not thought through their decision just because I disagree with it. Even if we happen to be (in the end) "right" about how Christians should respond to this holiday, there are lots of areas where I am probably not right. I was wrong in my attitude and lack of consideration for your hearts as thinking believers and people who care about us enough to read my blogs in the first place. I am sorry.
I wrote a blog about Halloween a little while ago. In it, I offered an argument for why Christians should not participate in this holiday, even as an opportunity for evangelism. I feel very strongly about this issue. This practice among our churches is a burden that brings me great sadness, and I believe the church's response to the spiritual realities associated with this particular day of the year are critical to who we are as a body.
However, it is not enough for me to speak the truth (or at least my understanding of it). I must remind myself that "if I do not have love, I am nothing." I should speak the truth in love. I should speak it in grace. I should speak it in humility. The post I wrote was not loving. It was not full of grace. It was not humble. After being lovingly confronted by a friend who read that blog, I realize that I've hurt at least one family (and probably others) because of my aggressiveness. These people are our friends, and we love them in the Lord. I am truly sorry, and I am writing this blog in case there are others in the body I have hurt as well. I believe my attitude and approach were wrong.
When I feel strongly about an issue, it is far too easy for me to forget that this blog is not simply a journal of my private thoughts and reflections. It is an avenue for communicating with others, and it is an imperfect avenue at best. Where I intend to show concern, I can sound angry. Where I want to call for reconsideration, I can sound judgmental. Where I want to show how my heart hurts, I can (and do) hurt the hearts of others. I need to be more careful of the hearts and spirits of my readers. My hope is to persuade Christians, not attack them.
Of course, sometimes I actually am angry or judgmental and I shouldn't be. But, sometimes (as in this case) I just don't take the time to think about what I am saying and whether or not I should say it. I don't stop to pray before I press "Publish." After visiting with my friend, I reread my post and realized that I could have stopped about half-way through (before I started using examples or talking about a particular family or church). In our family, the prayerful response to Halloween is to abstain from it, and we believe we have spiritual, moral, and biblical support for this decision. The believers (and the church) I shouldn't have mentioned have also prayed about their response to Halloween and (from a biblically mandated heart to love their community) have decided to try to redeem that day. I believe they did not come to that conclusion easily or without serious consideration. I respect that.
Now, if the issue were truly critical to our relationship, then the proper thing to do would have been to sit down with the family or the leaders of the church and talk about the issue. If it is, in fact, a stumbling block to our fellowship together, then the issue should first be discussed in private fellowship and love [Matthew 18:15-16], not in a public forum. (If it weren't a truly critical issue, then my best course would have been to never mention it at all.)
Halloween is an important issue for our family, and one I feel like we need resolution to before we can commit to any body of believers (a thing we deeply want to be able to do). However, I have no right to bypass the discomfort of a private discussion and begin a conversation by publicly call for a change in another's behavior. That was a bad choice on my part.
Even Martin Luther tried to resolve his conflict with Rome privately before posting his famous 95 Theses to the door of Wittenberg Catholic Church (a normal way in those days of making a debate public). In fact, theses themselves are rather apologetic if you read them. He wanted to bring change with unity, not bring hurt and disunity and tried to follow Jesus' instructions for bringing about that change. In my haste, and in my passion, I never even considered whether or not I was approaching the issue biblically. I was wrong to be so thoughtless and hurtful. Therefore, I offer my sincerest apologies (Truly I do).
I meant well, but that is precisely the issue. Meaning well is not enough. I hoped to encourage a reconsideration of the church's involvement with Halloween. Yet, to intend good, but fail to do good, is still a failure to do good. My intentions do not matter very much if I sin in them.
At this point, I am in danger of defending myself, and I most certainly DO NOT want this post to be about that! Obviously, I believe our family has made the right choice about Halloween. Obviously, I share our choice every year because I want others to pray and come to the same conclusion about their involvement in Halloween. But, I should not assume an attitude that communicates that others have not thought through their decision just because I disagree with it. Even if we happen to be (in the end) "right" about how Christians should respond to this holiday, there are lots of areas where I am probably not right. I was wrong in my attitude and lack of consideration for your hearts as thinking believers and people who care about us enough to read my blogs in the first place. I am sorry.
Comments