IN NEED
The summer after my freshman year of college I worked at a Christian camp outside of Marble Falls, Texas. In that time I was a counselor for 8 different groups of kids. Most of the camp sessions were 1 week long. It's enough time to gain a first impression of your campers, but not really enough to get to know too much about them. Two of the sessions were 2 weeks long. I got to know those kids a little better and even led one boy named Justin to the Lord. The two week kids generally made a bigger impression than most of the one week kids.
However, there was also a small group of campers who stayed on between sessions. That is, they came for two weeks and then stayed over for an extra week. These campers became fixtures in our lives no matter whose cabin they were in. Some of them I kept up with for a long time, even years. Those 3 weeks at camp produced long-lasting, life changing relationships. They produced fruit. They met our long-term needs as people.
I am beginning to feel that way at the hospital: like a stay-over camper. People we haven't actually met before know who we are. Folks we don't know notice when we are delayed in our arrival. We have nurses who check on us everyday, and who check on Micah for us in our absence. We know our way around. We're probably already qualified to provide some level of counsel and advise to newer parents entering the NICU, though I'm sure we still have a lot to learn. We are a regular part of that world; we are fixtures.
"That world" is Micah's world, the world of the hospital. It is where she lives, and all she knows. Without "that world", she probably couldn't survive more than a couple of days, perhaps hours. So, Olivia and I have become regular parts of "that world." Micah needs it, and Micah needs us.
She is fragile. She is helpless. She is IN NEED.
So, what exactly do we do all day? How do we spend our time? Why are we so tired every night, yet so eager to push on the next morning? It's pretty simple: we are Micah's advocates. We pray for her and recruit others to pray for her as well (like you). We point out her humanity and her value (that she is a small person created in the image of God just like we are). We shield her from fear, doubt, and spiritual/environmental trauma. We represent her needs to the doctors and nurses who rotate in and out of her life, because we are the constant factor. We know her better than anyone else, spend more time with her than anyone else, and care more about her life than anyone else. She needs us every bit as much as she needs those machines.
We also do other things: We pump milk every 3 hours. We drive back and forth to the hospital through Fort Worth traffic. We eat. We learn. We share. We make sure Gracey is taken care of, and take her to the vet when the stress brings on issues with her bowels. We talk to social workers, government agencies, and hospital employees on Micah's behalf. We pump milk for 30-45 minutes every 3 hours. And, we make runs to Abilene to make sure our house is still there and buy deep freezers for the milk we run out of capacity for at the hospital.
In the midst of all of this, we confess that we (like Micah) are IN NEED.
Now, we're doing ok in a lot of ways. The Lord has been providing for us through many in the body of Christ and also through biological family. But, we are still IN NEED: We need the Lord Jesus. None of this is going to happen without Him. We need His peace (because even the best days here have been hard, and this is our reality). We need His strength (because people simply aren't meant to live like this). We need His grace for the people we come into contact with (whether their lives are blatantly established in sin, they fail to see Micah as a real person, or they need our prayers and support for their own situations). We need to be as much fixtures in His presence as we are in the NICU (which is easy to long for, and hard to find time to do).
We need Jesus, and we need Him truly. We need Jesus to help us be light and salt here. We need Him to continue to heal and save our daughter every day. We need Jesus to be our Peace, our Strength, and our Grace. We need Jesus to be our Advocate, so that we can be Micah's.
I can only imagine what that advocacy looks like in the heavenly realm, but if our lives are any indicator of what it takes, then I know it is no minor thing. Then again, this is the God who died on a cross for us while we were still His enemies. Jesus has always been our advocate, and for those of us who are His disciples, He always will be.
We (Micah, Olivia, and Myself) are IN NEED, and I'm ok with that. After all, the scary part about being IN NEED is the fear that those needs will not be met. However, for us, the need is merely a confession of our reality and of our dependence upon the God who has already met all of our needs.
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:31-32
However, there was also a small group of campers who stayed on between sessions. That is, they came for two weeks and then stayed over for an extra week. These campers became fixtures in our lives no matter whose cabin they were in. Some of them I kept up with for a long time, even years. Those 3 weeks at camp produced long-lasting, life changing relationships. They produced fruit. They met our long-term needs as people.
I am beginning to feel that way at the hospital: like a stay-over camper. People we haven't actually met before know who we are. Folks we don't know notice when we are delayed in our arrival. We have nurses who check on us everyday, and who check on Micah for us in our absence. We know our way around. We're probably already qualified to provide some level of counsel and advise to newer parents entering the NICU, though I'm sure we still have a lot to learn. We are a regular part of that world; we are fixtures.
"That world" is Micah's world, the world of the hospital. It is where she lives, and all she knows. Without "that world", she probably couldn't survive more than a couple of days, perhaps hours. So, Olivia and I have become regular parts of "that world." Micah needs it, and Micah needs us.
She is fragile. She is helpless. She is IN NEED.
So, what exactly do we do all day? How do we spend our time? Why are we so tired every night, yet so eager to push on the next morning? It's pretty simple: we are Micah's advocates. We pray for her and recruit others to pray for her as well (like you). We point out her humanity and her value (that she is a small person created in the image of God just like we are). We shield her from fear, doubt, and spiritual/environmental trauma. We represent her needs to the doctors and nurses who rotate in and out of her life, because we are the constant factor. We know her better than anyone else, spend more time with her than anyone else, and care more about her life than anyone else. She needs us every bit as much as she needs those machines.
We also do other things: We pump milk every 3 hours. We drive back and forth to the hospital through Fort Worth traffic. We eat. We learn. We share. We make sure Gracey is taken care of, and take her to the vet when the stress brings on issues with her bowels. We talk to social workers, government agencies, and hospital employees on Micah's behalf. We pump milk for 30-45 minutes every 3 hours. And, we make runs to Abilene to make sure our house is still there and buy deep freezers for the milk we run out of capacity for at the hospital.
In the midst of all of this, we confess that we (like Micah) are IN NEED.
Now, we're doing ok in a lot of ways. The Lord has been providing for us through many in the body of Christ and also through biological family. But, we are still IN NEED: We need the Lord Jesus. None of this is going to happen without Him. We need His peace (because even the best days here have been hard, and this is our reality). We need His strength (because people simply aren't meant to live like this). We need His grace for the people we come into contact with (whether their lives are blatantly established in sin, they fail to see Micah as a real person, or they need our prayers and support for their own situations). We need to be as much fixtures in His presence as we are in the NICU (which is easy to long for, and hard to find time to do).
We need Jesus, and we need Him truly. We need Jesus to help us be light and salt here. We need Him to continue to heal and save our daughter every day. We need Jesus to be our Peace, our Strength, and our Grace. We need Jesus to be our Advocate, so that we can be Micah's.
I can only imagine what that advocacy looks like in the heavenly realm, but if our lives are any indicator of what it takes, then I know it is no minor thing. Then again, this is the God who died on a cross for us while we were still His enemies. Jesus has always been our advocate, and for those of us who are His disciples, He always will be.
We (Micah, Olivia, and Myself) are IN NEED, and I'm ok with that. After all, the scary part about being IN NEED is the fear that those needs will not be met. However, for us, the need is merely a confession of our reality and of our dependence upon the God who has already met all of our needs.
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