the second bodyguard from the left on the third row

Faithful friends and prayer warriors, so many of you have been checking up on Micah and supporting us in prayer. Thank you. Please continue to do so. Micah is doing really well. She is pooping regularly and eating Mama's milk in addition to liquid nutrients. Sometimes she has to take breaks for transfusions since her body is still learning to produce all the blood she needs. She is absolutely adorable (getting cuter by the day), and is now up to 1 pound, 5.9 ounces. She still has good moments and bad, but we are even getting to interact with her more regularly: changing diapers, checking temperatures, holding hands, and standing guard. Access is still very controlled, because too much external stimulation is still traumatic to her. That she has tolerated her few visitors so well is a huge blessing, but the biggest thing she needs to do right now is rest and grow. They give her meds to help keep her calm when they need to, and this is hard for us, but it's what she needs.

Safe in Mama's hands

Time for a Change

Heaven's Eye View

Standing Guard!

As I think about the past two days, one thought keeps coming to my mind: This story isn't about me. God didn't do this just out of love for Olivia and for me. He didn't create her, protect her, and spare her life just so we could finally be parents. He didn't do it for grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, or friends. God did this because God loves Micah Ahava Elise! This story is about His relationship with her. The rest of us are simply spectators and every glimpse we catch of God's intimacy with Micah is a privilege we should feel honored to be partakers of. Therefore, since this isn't my story, there is only so much of it I can share.

A friend shared a vision from the Lord the day Micah was born: the Lord's hands reaching down through the operating room; His fingers moving through the arms and hands of the doctors and nurses. That same vision continues to be true. She is in His hands, from the first day to this. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5) God has a plan for Micah's life, even now. God knows the future He wants for her. God knows who He wants her to be in Christ.

Psalm 84:10 says, "I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness." That's what I feel like: a doorkeeper. I feel like the man in the background of the painting sneaking in to refill the oil lamp by which the high priest sees as he ministers before the Lord. I feel like I'm holding the boom-mic for the big announcement. I feel like Secret Service. I feel like the second bodyguard from the left on the third row. I am on the sidelines.  I have been wonderfully backgrounded. I am right there. I'm watching this amazing drama unfold. I am in the best seat in the house, but it isn't really about me.

What is happening is holy. Every day I am getting to see my daughter develop in ways that most parents never get to see. I am seeing God knit her together (Psalms 139:13). I am getting to learn her before she even knows herself. I try to describe everything I can put into words, but so much of it goes beyond words. I try to share with pictures, but snapshots cannot contain the artistry of God. I feel like the biblical writer who simply says, "the glory of the Lord filled the Temple" because there aren't enough words in the world to really describe what he is seeing take place.

I see the glory of the Lord at work in Micah's life everyday, and it humbles me. His love for her is so amazing. GOD LOVES MICAH! and I love seeing it. I know others may miss it when they see her, but God loving Micah may be the most beautiful thing I have ever beheld.

Comments

Cliff said…
My name is Cliff, I was in PVCS a couple years before Olivia, but I also knew her sister Cyndi. One of Olivia's classmates posted your story on Facebook and I followed links to here. We in Mass. are praying for you guys. We might never meet but just so you know people far and wide are praying for you! Make sure that baby lives! Continue standing guard. Write your posts and make this into a book for God's Glory. You never know who it will affect.
June 1, 2012 at 10:42 PM
Joy said…
Cliff, I was sharing some of Bryan's blogs with my Mother yesterday because they just touch your soul. My mother said the same thing, that he needs to write a book because the way he writes makes you feel like you are walking right beside him. This journey has just began & has already touched so many. God is at the center & is so big yet working thru Sweet Lil Tiny Micah. I am so blessed to know this family & can't think of a more suitable couple to have been choosen to be Micah's parents. I look forward to reading the next post & seeing the newest pictures every day!
June 3, 2012 at 3:54 PM
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