An Angel of God




"That which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself." Galatians 4:14

When the Apostle Paul wrote these words, he did so in the context of asking (in fact, begging) the disciples to "become as I" (v.12): helpless, weak, frail, in need of others so motivated by the love of Christ that they would literally pluck out their eyes if you needed them (v.15). Why would God inspire Paul to make this strange request?

We know Paul's life was hard (if you don't, consider 2 Corinthians 11:24-28). He may be the most influential Christian in history, but his life wasn't easy. He faced trial after trial, rejection after rejection, and set back after set back. His life was a roller coaster, and through it all... he suffered. In fact, when Jesus called him to salvation and ministry (BTW salvation and ministry always go together), when Jesus called Paul to salvation and ministry he said to Ananias, "I will show him how much he must suffer for My name’s sake." (Acts 9:16)

So, are our lives so different? Have we "evolved"? Have we outgrown our need to suffer? Have we outgrown our dependance? Do we now despise and loathe helplessness, frailty, weakness, and need?

This question has been on my mind recently, but it only really formed as I was preparing this update for you: Why does helplessness bother us?

Micah reminds me everyday what helplessness looks like, but I could never despise her! She reminds every time I see her that she is frail and "needs," but I love her. I love her in spite of her weakness. In fact, I may even love her more because of her weakness! After all, it's ME she needs! Perhaps this is the wisdom of God in making all newborn (full-term, premie, or micro-premie) helpless: their need makes them lovable.

Micah is doing very well today. She had a growth spurt last night and gained 2 ounces (almost 11% of her previous weight!). She even looks longer than she did yesterday. She is still digesting all of her food, and managing incresed feeds without spiting up. She is learning to calm herself down, which is a big thing because it involves managing her heartrate without external intervention. She is doing so great, but she has a long way to go before we leave.

Part of me doesn't want Micah to be helpless and needful, any more than I myself want to be helpless and needful. I imagine we are all pretty much the same in this regard. We want to do it ourselves, stand on our own, pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps (ever tried that??).

We don't want to need anyone else! BUT WE DO!
We don't want to be helpless and frail! BUT WE ARE!

We do need, just as much as Micah needs. It's that way on purpose. God created us to need. He formed us to need community, a safe environment, and even God Himself. We are designed against too much independance. God made us helpless, weak, and frail on purpose. Maybe, it makes us more lovable.

Personally, I am amazed at Micah's strength, but it is relative strength. She does a lot more than I would expect, and does parts of it better than I could. But, she is still dependant on others for her survival. She is strong for a micro-premie, but might be called weak by other standards. Of course, you say, it would be unfair for her to be a strong as a full-term newborn. Yes, it would, but fair isn't the issue. She is being asked to do the things a full-term baby is asked to do. So, while she is strong for a micro-preemie, she is also relatively weak.

Does Paul ask the same of us? Are we to be weak in our need for God, while enduring (in the strength God gives us)? Is this what Micah asks of us as well?

Does her daily struggle, her need, her weakness and strength, remind us to "become as" she is? It does for me. My daughter reminds me everyday how much I need the Lord, His power, and His community. I need Him to know my name. I need Him to take me in as he would His own Son. I need His voice and presence with me. I need His hand reaching into my world to comfort me. I need Him to be my Father, just like Micah needs me to be hers.


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