Swallowing the Fly

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she'll die.

At some point, somebody decided that it was the government's job to "fix" the situation.

I don't know when it started. Was it the civil war we fought (which was illegal at the time)?

Was it the so-called New Deal of 80 years ago (which FDR's unprecedented "use of the authority of

government as an organized form of self-help for all classes and groups and sections of our country.")?

I don't know, but somehow we decided that individuals, autonomous faith communities, and

common sense weren't enough. Somewhere along the way we swallowed the fly.

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.

At some point, somebody decided our government needed to fix social issues,

our government needed to make sure everyone was treated "fairly,"

our government needed to become a permanent force for good

across the world, whether the world wanted that "good" or not.
Somewhere along the way we swallowed the spider.

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.

At some point, somebody decided that equal outcome was more important than equal opportunity.

They decided that everyone (except white Christian men) was "entitled" to special treatment.

Then, they decided that reverse discrimination was a good way to keep track of the

equal outcome they were looking for and created "affirmative action" plans. 

Somewhere along the way we swallowed the bird.

There was an old lady who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that, she swallowed a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.

At some point, somebody decided that homosexual sin was funny,

that women should be treated like men, and men should be taught to act like women.
Somebody decided that Hollywood was more qualified to teach our children than home,

after all actors and musicians are experts on everything that really matters, right?

 Then they decided that prayer in public, teaching the Bible, personal responsibility,

and God himself were the real enemy, and that any other illegal aliens were ok. 

Somewhere along the way we swallowed the cat.

There was an old lady who swallowed a dog.
My what a hog, to swallow a dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat, to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.

At some point, somebody decided that we were all monkeys.

They decided that Christianity was outdated (perhaps even dangerous and offensive and that one

particular opinion of science (Evolutionary Theory) was going to be the new religion for our country.

Then somebody decided that the government should make sure everyone

(especially those less evolved Christians) confessed this new religion by teaching it to our children

instead of outdated concepts like math, reading, and history.

Somewhere along the way we swallowed the dog.

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow.
She swallowed the cow to catch the dog.
She swallowed the dog, to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die.

At some point, somebody decided that there were too many governments,

What we needed was one power, one authority, one leader to tell us all how to live.
Somebody decided that this leader's most important qualifications should be
an attractive presence, a youthful look, and the ability to say exactly what we want to hear.
Then they decided it didn't matter what anyone actually believed
(except for those dangerous, offensive, less evolved Christians, of course).
Instead they decided "what's true for one" isn't necessarily true for all.
Somewhere along the way we swallowed the cow...

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse...


She's dead of course!