Today started with Lupus

Today we're at the hospital and my sweet bride isn't feeling well. It's inconvenient, but at least we're here together. Olivia's been really brave these past 5 hours, but she's ready to go home. The hardest part, she says, is that Gracey isn't here with us. She's at home on the bed feeling sad and alone. This is part of life fighting a chronic illness, and it isn't the funnest part.

We woke up this morning and were just getting ready for church. Olivia started taking a shower and suddenly felt like she was going to pass out. She was really hurting all over so, after we got her to bed and talked it over, we decided we needed to get to the ER. Olivia had a busy day yesterday and the doctor says she is suffering from heat exhaustion. Now, she's on IV's and her pain has gone down, but her blood pressure has gone up.

Now, I don't want anybody to panic. This isn't an abnormally critical situation. The fact is this is just part of what lupus does. It attacks you when you aren't ready, sends you to bed or to the hospital in exhaustion, pain, and nausea, and takes days to recover from. It's pure treachery in physical form, your body in treason against itself. This is life with lupus, and Olivia's been dealing with it for almost 7 years.

For me, it can be inconvenient (so are taxes and filling up the car with gas), but for my sweet Olivia, it's horrible. I don't think those of us without lupus, even loved ones, can even imagine what it feels like to be living with what she deals with every day. I'm bothered by people's lack of compassion and understanding. I think the judge who said she 'didn't look sick' and didn't deserve Social Security help should be fired. I don't like seeing her suffer and hate her own body sometimes. I hurt with my lack of any true ability to help. Yet, all of my emotions (I know) are nothing to the flood she constantly feels (doubt, fear, hate, exhaustion, betrayal, hope, faith, love, anger...).

So, if you'd like to encourage Olivia, I know she would appreciate it. But, don't forget that what we're going through today is only her regular life intensified. Please remember that each time you see her happy, energized, creating, taking Gracey out for a walk, or even just playing, it is a gift she never takes for granted. I hope you won't take it for granted either. Such times are more often the exception than you realize. Often they are hard fought for, and for every trip to the ER she's made (with all of it's bad memories), there have been dozens of times when she's toughed it out at home.

One thing I've learned from Olivia's fight with lupus has been not to take so much for granted, because she doesn't. I hope you won't either. Enjoying life is a privilege that some people don't get to experience as often as you do. Enjoying life is a gift. God is the giver. And, more often than we deserve, we are the blessed.