The God Who Says, "No"
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How does one worship a God who tells us, “No”? I don’t mean, “No, you can’t be taller.” Or, “No, you can’t win the Lottery.” I mean the hard denials, the ones that don’t make any sense: “No, your mother will not live.” “No, your husband will not come back.” “No, I won’t allow you to keep this baby.” “No, I will not heal your wife, whom you love.”
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Growing up, there was a song entitled, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” Even then, it bothered me. It seems to me there was no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God says, “Yes.” God says, “No.” Or, God says, “Wait.” We aren’t comfortable with the idea of God saying, “No,” and we hate to wait, especially in my culture. So, we’ve somehow told ourselves that God isn’t answering at all. Since God is Love (and generous), the problem must be with us. We aren’t asking correctly. We have bad motives. We’re doing it wrong.
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However, real life tells us a different story. In real life, godly people watch helplessly as loved ones die of cancer or some other wasting disease. In real life, godly parents watch their children live in disobedience and sin. In real life, Sarah never has a child, Job is never vindicated, and Judas never gets what he deserves. At least sometimes…
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I think the “sometimes” is what makes it so difficult. Two men pray in faith. One gets “Yes.” The other is told, “No.” There is no explanation, no reason. One is no better than the other. Yet, one goes away rejoicing and the other struggles with God’s apparent rejection for years. How can he be expected to praise the Lord? Yet, he is.
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It isn’t fair. (Why do we always think life should be fair?) Some of us seem to live in a fairytale world of deep revelations, miraculous answers to prayer, and countless blessings. Others live in a purgatory of trials, loses, pains, and struggle. Sometimes these people actually have more faith (because they must), but they never hear, “Yes.” How is it that the suffering praise the God who allows them to suffer? What’s their secret?
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Perhaps their greater need brings God greater glory, whether he meets the need or not? Perhaps God is more magnified by our desperate trust than by our contented thankfulness? Perhaps God gets more honor when we trust him even though he may decide not to give us what we need? Perhaps we worship God because he “Yes” or “No” is far less important than the fact that he hears and answers at all?
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So, don’t tell me it’s all “ok.” It isn’t. Don’t tell me I need to have more faith. Faith is a gift. I can’t have more than I’m given. Don’t tell me God is doing this for my own good. God need not be limited to suffering to shape character. When I’m hurting, don’t insult the realness of the pain in my heart by encouraging me to “look at the bright side”, “let it go”, or “get over it”. Denying pain doesn’t make it hurt any less or go away. It only makes suffering more confusing and adds guilt and inadequacy to my plate.
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Rather, when I’m suffering, join me. When I’m hurt, acknowledge my pain. When I’m confused, remind me that I’m not crazy and that this really is confusing. Then, pray for me that I will know the secret of the suffering glorifiers of God. Pray that I will remember how God gets more glory from the praise of a broken man than from the lips of the untroubled because the glory is bought at a dearer price. Pray for me in the reality that the God who says, “No,” in the very act of hearing my prayer and answering it, offers himself as the great “Yes” and “Amen”, and proves his love for me, no matter what his answer might be.
How does one worship a God who tells us, “No”? I don’t mean, “No, you can’t be taller.” Or, “No, you can’t win the Lottery.” I mean the hard denials, the ones that don’t make any sense: “No, your mother will not live.” “No, your husband will not come back.” “No, I won’t allow you to keep this baby.” “No, I will not heal your wife, whom you love.”
.
Growing up, there was a song entitled, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” Even then, it bothered me. It seems to me there was no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God says, “Yes.” God says, “No.” Or, God says, “Wait.” We aren’t comfortable with the idea of God saying, “No,” and we hate to wait, especially in my culture. So, we’ve somehow told ourselves that God isn’t answering at all. Since God is Love (and generous), the problem must be with us. We aren’t asking correctly. We have bad motives. We’re doing it wrong.
.
However, real life tells us a different story. In real life, godly people watch helplessly as loved ones die of cancer or some other wasting disease. In real life, godly parents watch their children live in disobedience and sin. In real life, Sarah never has a child, Job is never vindicated, and Judas never gets what he deserves. At least sometimes…
.
I think the “sometimes” is what makes it so difficult. Two men pray in faith. One gets “Yes.” The other is told, “No.” There is no explanation, no reason. One is no better than the other. Yet, one goes away rejoicing and the other struggles with God’s apparent rejection for years. How can he be expected to praise the Lord? Yet, he is.
.
It isn’t fair. (Why do we always think life should be fair?) Some of us seem to live in a fairytale world of deep revelations, miraculous answers to prayer, and countless blessings. Others live in a purgatory of trials, loses, pains, and struggle. Sometimes these people actually have more faith (because they must), but they never hear, “Yes.” How is it that the suffering praise the God who allows them to suffer? What’s their secret?
.
Perhaps their greater need brings God greater glory, whether he meets the need or not? Perhaps God is more magnified by our desperate trust than by our contented thankfulness? Perhaps God gets more honor when we trust him even though he may decide not to give us what we need? Perhaps we worship God because he “Yes” or “No” is far less important than the fact that he hears and answers at all?
.
So, don’t tell me it’s all “ok.” It isn’t. Don’t tell me I need to have more faith. Faith is a gift. I can’t have more than I’m given. Don’t tell me God is doing this for my own good. God need not be limited to suffering to shape character. When I’m hurting, don’t insult the realness of the pain in my heart by encouraging me to “look at the bright side”, “let it go”, or “get over it”. Denying pain doesn’t make it hurt any less or go away. It only makes suffering more confusing and adds guilt and inadequacy to my plate.
.
Rather, when I’m suffering, join me. When I’m hurt, acknowledge my pain. When I’m confused, remind me that I’m not crazy and that this really is confusing. Then, pray for me that I will know the secret of the suffering glorifiers of God. Pray that I will remember how God gets more glory from the praise of a broken man than from the lips of the untroubled because the glory is bought at a dearer price. Pray for me in the reality that the God who says, “No,” in the very act of hearing my prayer and answering it, offers himself as the great “Yes” and “Amen”, and proves his love for me, no matter what his answer might be.
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