Finding Elora

Today, my heart hurts. It hurts because we felt like we'd found our daughter, and we hadn't. It hurts because my sweet Olivia has had to relive the pain of 3 failed pregnancies and years of waiting for God to fulfill this promise. It hurts because I'm ready to be a dad, to change diapers, to tickle toes, to 'nuggle', and to see Olivia look proudly at me as I hold our daughter. It hurts because I miss Natalie, Malachi, and Rachel. It hurts because sometimes things hurt, and this is one of those times.

Today, my heart hurts, but my soul must rejoice in the Lord. I must rejoice because God's wisdom is greater than mine, and He loves me. I must rejoice because I feel closer than ever to understanding and knowing my wife. I must rejoice because even if this little girl wasn't Elora, I know she's out there somewhere and we're going to find her. I must rejoice because it's not up to me to make it happen; this is God's promise to keep. I must rejoice because whatever happens or doesn't happen in my life, Jesus still died for me and has adopted me into His Kingdom.

Today, my heart hurts.
Today, my soul must rejoice!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Bryan,

I just wanted you to know you are both in my prayers. I had no idea about your precious litle ones and cannot imagine the loss you must feel. I'm so sorry.
I cannot tell you how much I admire your strength and faith.

Lori
September 20, 2008 at 4:48 PM
BK said…
Thank you, Lori. It's good to hear from you.
September 20, 2008 at 10:34 PM
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